Fasting

Jesus clearly spoke to me about consecration and put it on my heart to fast. I need to complete a 40-day fast to write it and teach it. I need the anointing. I’m hungry to seek Jesus like never before. I’m setting this time apart to dedicate everything to the Lord.

Purpose: God’s Authority

-More hunger and thirst for Jesus: Wisdom, knowledge, and revelation of Scripture. 

-Access to and authority over every tribe, tongue, and nation to share the Gospel, preach, teach, and lead.

The night before starting, my last meal was potatoes, onions, tomatoes, avocado, some almonds, a protein shake, and 32 ounces of squeezed juice (apples, lemons, strawberries, pineapple, and ginger). My starting weight is 241pounds. I had a great night of sleep. I pray I’ll be able to sleep like this every night. I did take melatonin with my final meal. I won’t be able to take that during the fast. I’ve eaten clean and went into this fast with a good sleeping schedule. I plan to get to bed every day around 9-10pm. Overall, today went by quick. I’m going to finish the day reading the Bible, spending time with Jesus, and get through phase 1 of the fast. The uniqueness of this fast already is going into it shortly after a 21 day fast and breaking the fast. I’m entering this one 51 days since finishing my last fast. I worked out and feel amazing. I believe this will help me in this fast. I’m hungry to experience the Holy Spirit more, get to know God in new ways, and remain expectant of what He’s going to do, say, and getting out of the way.     

• Spiritually: I feel steady. I feel like I’m hearing clearly from the Lord. In general, in still in the fleshly phase. I do feel a grace from the Holy Spirit and a hunger to know Jesus more that drives me into this fast. 
• Mentally: I feel clear and focused. Wrestle a little with overthinking or wandering thoughts. I do feel a slight sense of sharpness which is great this early in the fast. 
• Emotionally: I don’t feel a strong pull of emotions, steady, and maybe a slight feel of anxiousness. Still in the fleshly phase. 
• Physically: I feel great, strong, in great shape, no ailments or hunger pains.

I got some great rest last night. I did have a little trouble falling asleep initially, but I did rest through the night. No dreams. I woke up and spent time with Jesus in prayer and worship. I did battle in prayer. I had a hard time focusing. I was wrestling with some thoughts about outreach the other day and the various challenges. I am grateful God is showing me how far I’ve come and I’m ready to lead others and what not to do as a leader. I continue to wage warfare for my family and the lost. The enemy was trying to speak lies and I did battle that in prayer. I got some time in reading the Bible. I’m going through Judges, and I feel Jesus is reminding me the battles are in His control. I don’t have to do anything other than have faith and be a vessel for Him. I got to spend time outside in the hammock while reading, and that was relaxing. I’m in the fasting journey with Nick, so walking him through this as well. It’s not a burden but I am encouraged he’s doing it with me. He’s never gone more than 5 days. Then I worked out, I walked for an hour with the 22lb vest and did some upper body lifts. Nothing too crazy. I feel great overall. 

• Spiritually: It’s been challenging to pray the first few days in the morning. I don’t want it to become a task. However, in times I don’t feel like getting on my knees is when I must push through. Focusing during the prayer has been the challenge, not the desire to pray. The Lord continues to remind me to focus on Him. I’m hungry. I’m eager to experience Him in new ways, and my faith is built. I know Jesus will do some amazing things and speak. It’s been weird, I don’t feel close in prayer, but I’m hungering throughout the day for Jesus and praying in tongues often and worshiping. 
• Mentally: I feel sharp, focused, and not thinking about anything else other than hungering more for Jesus. I’ve had to battle thoughts and a wandering mind in prayer. Other than that, no thoughts on food and focused on the task. 
• Emotionally: I feel peace, grateful, joy, and expectant. I feel a lot of excitement for what Jesus is going to do. My emotions seem steady which is not typical this early in the fast. 
• Physically: I weighed at 229lbs after the workout. Down from 241. 12lbs. Not surprised. I did an Epsom salt flush today. Cleaned the system out. I feel great overall. Praise Jesus.

I don’t know how to describe today other than “heavy.” I felt a spiritual battle since the moment I woke up. I did not want to go to church and teach a class or do the interview with the faith trip team. I slept okay. Again, I had a hard time falling asleep. I woke up at 7am but hit the snooze until 7:52am until I needed to leave to church. I didn’t spend time with the Lord in my morning prayer. I’ve been wrestling with that early in this fast. I went to church, felt warfare there. I couldn’t focus on the Lord. It was hard to worship. I did, but I feel distant from Jesus. This happens sometimes in the fast and I experienced it today. I taught a class, “Healthy Foundations,” and that was great. I’m learning how to let the Holy Spirit guide me. I need to do a better job of preparation and overcome the fear that hinders me or causes me to procrastinate. I did use the church time prior to read over the notes and prepare my heart during the worship. Lastly, I went on a walk on the treadmill with my 22lb vest on. I will probably increase the weight on the vest tomorrow because I am losing weight. I walked 5 miles, got a slight 5-minute jog in at the end. I’m going to finish up the day with the video and read the Bible a little and pray. Tougher day today. I will say this day went by quick. I feel like I just marked off day 2 on my board and now I’m about to mark off day 3 which is great. Only God’s grace will sustain me.  

• Spiritually: Felt warfare today. All I can describe it as, “heavy.” Hard time praying, worshiping, and spending time with Jesus. 
• Mentally: I’m battling today. Wondering what am I doing with my life? Why am I on this earth? No thoughts of quitting the fast but had some thoughts about life.
• Emotionally: Today I felt down from the moment I woke up. Battling sadness and feeling down. I don’t know why but feeling down today. I tag this to the spiritual warfare of the fast. 
• Physically: I feel amazing. I feel strong, clear minded, focused, energized, not sore, and healthy. I weighed roughly 227lbs after my walk. Down 14lbs since the start.

Today was smooth overall. I spent some time in prayer and read the Bible. It was nice out so I setup the hammock and continued reading through Judges. It’s so interesting the same up and down cycles throughout the book. People quickly forget God and fall into their own ways and then face troubles and repent. Thank you, Jesus it is not like that, with you. I chipped away at the fasting book. Wrote about another page and a half. I worshipped in the car and prayed as I drove to Plano, Texas to carry the cross. I carried for almost 3 hours, about 4.93 miles. It was a slower day, but there were 4 good encounters where people were touched by Jesus and a couple of them almost gave their life to Jesus. 2 were saved but were homeless, mainly from poor decisions. I walked one guy through a little bit of deliverance, but he didn’t want to continue. Another lady was demonically oppressed. I believe they saw Jesus today. After I bought some water from Costco and now, I’m home. I filmed my video for the daily walk through of the fast.  

• Spiritually: Last night I spent a couple of hours in meditation and worship. Simply kneeling in God’s presence and praying in tongues as the Holy Spirit led me. Today was an okay day. Spiritually I felt better. All I want is to know more of Jesus. I don’t feel like I’m hearing from the Lord. I don’t feel close to Him in this moment. Typical in the fast. I feel all I’m really needing to do is spend time with Jesus and not have to do much. 
• Mentally: There were a couple of moments of wrestling with thoughts of food when I drove and smelled some cooked food. I feel okay. Nothing different from the previous day. 
• Emotionally: I feel steady. I can still sense my emotions have a slight grip, meaning if I sense fear or anxiousness, it’s not complete serenity yet, but calm in general.
• Physically: I feel like I’m fine. I feel today was more of a fleshly battle than spiritual. The desires to eat, the cravings a little, and some dizziness when I stood up in the morning and got out of the car. Weighing about 226lbs right now. Down 15lbs from 241 at the start. This is normal for me. My weight will start to level out as the fast progresses.

I slept okay last night. I woke up a couple of times. I had my counseling session in the morning, then I spent time in worship and prayer. I chipped away at my book until about 2pm. Then I felt led to continue to read the book, “Fasting and Easting for Health” by Joel Fuhrman. I didn’t have much energy today to carry the cross or go out. I laid in the hammock and read until it got dark out. I hopped on the treadmill and did my hour walk at a speed of 4 (fast walking) with 28lbs, I added 6lbs to the vest as I lost some weight and want to maintain my leg strength. Also, I did a light upper body lift. I did abs, pushups, pulldowns, lat-pulls, shoulder press, curls, and bench. Nothing too crazy, but enough to get some reps in. Showered, completed the fasting video, and now I’m journaling. I’m going to spend some time in solitude, worship, and prayer before bed. In general today was okay. I felt the need to rest and recharge. Jesus keeps reminding me I don’t need to do anything for Him. I can rest in His presence. Otherwise, I haven’t heard or felt anything from the Lord. 

• Spiritually: My hunger grows. All I want is Jesus. It is challenging to pray, so I sit in meditation and pray as the Holy Spirit reveals thoughts. I did get a little into the Bible today as I studied some parts in Jonah and Nineveh while writing my book.
• Mentally: I feel clear in general. Reading helps keep the mind occupied. Otherwise not much else to write about. Grateful for a sharp mind. 
• Emotionally: I feel a wrestling. At some points I feel weak, and I cry. The Holy Spirit touches my heart. I have this desperation for Jesus. He’s the only one that can sustain me and help me in the fast. That’s about it. Realizing I have nothing to give Jesus but my heart, my desires, my will, and my life. 
• Physically: Overall, I feel fine. I am getting lightheaded more often now. It was mainly from laying down a lot in the hammock and after getting up to quick, I got lightheaded and a little after the treadmill walk. I am getting a little weaker in my strength, but I feel fine. Thank you, Jesus.

Sleeping has been consistent. Getting rest at night is not normal in fasts for me so the consistency and habit developed before the fast is key. It is a blessing to be able to rest through the night. I had a deliverance session in the morning. So far through these sessions, my first one the Lord revealed the enemy’s core lie in my life about not being wanted, lonely, or abandoned, and the truth is He set me apart for a reason. He approves of me. The second session was a continual process of heart cleaning. God revealing my heart as a football stadium, and He created me with a big heart to care for a lot of people. I need and continue to let go of control, anxiety, people-pleasing, depression, and He’s cleaning my heart. He dwells there. Besides that, I went with 33rd Company and did outreach all day in Dallas. I felt the Holy Spirit led me to go there. One guy dedicated his life to Jesus, another rededicated, and on the evening outreach, the first guy we talked to give his life to Jesus, then got kicked out of Target because they said we were soliciting, but we were sharing the Good News outside, and I wanted to buy water, but they didn’t let us go in. I could feel my flesh rise and get frustrated, but instead I didn’t argue, simply walked out, went to OfficeMax and that led to me and my partner talking to 4 employees about Jesus. As we shared with 2 guys who were saved, one worker who was came by and heard and he shared his born-again experience, and then the manager came and saw what we were doing and let us talk to the 2 guys and ultimately told them to bring those guys in and share with them because they were close to giving their lives to Jesus. I got their contacts to follow up. It was a great day overall. Being obedient to Jesus and joining these outreaches to grow in leadership, follow up, and discipleship. 

• Spiritually: I can continue to feel this desperate hunger for Jesus. More of Jesus. I need Him. I want more of Him. He is the only one who can sustain me in the fast. My faith is increasing daily. On outreach, surprisingly when praying for people, I was hearing from the Holy Spirit and words He was giving me were encouraging and accurate to the person. I’m being led more by Him as I go out. 
• Mentally: I feel sharp and clear. No thoughts on food. I am blocking those out immediately. This is continual training to capture thoughts, hold them captive and toss them out. This helps when coming off a fast or not fasting to be able to capture future sinful thoughts or lies of the enemy and cast them out. Attacks from demons can’t affect me. Fasting creates a strong, sound mind, and growth in Holy Spirit discernment.  
• Emotionally: I’m more sensitive to the flesh and the Holy Spirit. The discernment is growing. I notice when pride wants to rise, or there’s edginess. Due to my experience in fasting and living in more freedom, I’m not affected by my flesh, strongholds, or demons. I am more patient, and I notice the things of the world fading. I’m not completely at the emotionally level place yet, but that comes in the fast typically after 10-14 days.
• Physically: I weighed in at 225lbs last night. I feel a little weaker strength wise. I walked about today which felt fine, but there were moments I needed to sit down. Overall, no ailments. My knees feel better and my joints in general. My tongue is coated in white now. Feeling great besides that.

I slept okay last night. I woke up about 3 times to use the restroom. Started the day off by quickly completing some small tasks. Then spent time with Jesus outside in the hammock and read the Bible. Going through Judges and learning more about Samson. Then I went on outreach with 33rd today. I did a full day again. I’m learning how to lead others and continue to grow. One of the things I’m learning about leading is being clear and communicating. Especially my experience in evangelism and encouraging those going out who are new to watch, and then slowly empowering them. The key as a leader is to get people to where I’m at and they can go out without me needing to be present. It’s also learning how to apply standards and authority, and communicating with people straight up if they don’t listen and doing it in love. The Lord is really growing me and stretching me in this area as I have been praying, but I’m also putting myself in these positions to lead and grow. God is opening the doors, and I’m being faithful. I’m learning more about discipleship. Follow ups and loving people and treating them as Jesus would. I really want to lead someone to the Lord, disciple them, and baptize them and make them a great warrior for the Kingdom. My heart is growing in this area, it feels right and it’s from the Holy Spirit. 

• Spiritually: I’m continuing to hunger for Jesus. I need more quiet times. Tomorrow will be great to Sabbath and spend time with Jesus. Recharge and be in His presence. I want more of Jesus. More faith. More power and authority from Jesus. I want to lead people to connect with the Holy Spirit and be taught by Him. The truth, not my theology or ideas. Biblical truth. 
• Mentally: I am sharp. No thoughts of food today. I am not allowing it to even stay or think about it in my head for a second. It’s out. I am in this, there’s no option to break or eat. I could feel some wrestling today in some conversations with friends about people-pleasing and what are people thinking and I feel like I go through these fazes in the fast, but ultimately, I don’t care, I’m unique, and I must keep my mind on people, let go of these thoughts and control. I can’t control or care about what people think otherwise I’ll consume myself or be fake. 
• Emotionally: I am slowly getting to the point of being calm and controlled more by the Holy Spirit. Feeling fine overall. Prayer, outreach, and spending time with Jesus helps stay closer to Him and removes edginess, pride, and keeps the heart pure. 
• Physically: Standing up for long periods of time is a little tiring. The legs are weaker and get tired. Energy levels feel fine. I get lightheaded only when getting out of bed or laying down in a position for a while. Overall, great. I had 2 bowel movements in the morning when I woke up. I drank a lot of water in the morning. I think this flushed out the system. I weigh 222lbs. Down 19lbs in a week. Lost an average 2.7lbs a day. Normal for me as I lose weight quickly early in the fast. In general, the Holy Spirit is sustaining me.

I continue to get rest throughout the night which is a blessing. I wake up once or twice to use the restroom. I didn’t feel that good today physically. I felt weak and tired. I didn’t want to get out of bed. I foam rolled my body, then went on a walk with the weighted vest (28lbs). I walked 56 minutes. I did some more ministry tasks on my phone, preparing Spanish phrases and translations for when I encounter Spanish speakers on the street. I chipped away at the book some more. I wrote just over a page. Finished the story of Samson in Judges. Now I’m journaling. I’m going to film the fasting devotional and then read a new book or possibly spend time in prayer. Today was a little more challenging overall. At times I feel lonely, but I like days like today where I don’t have much on my plate, it’s a Sabbath day, but I feel and wrestle with purposelessness. I need to do something. I need to accomplish something. Then I don’t feel adequate. Then I realize Jesus doesn’t need me. Fasting can suck. I don’t have anything other than Him. I can’t offer or do anything for Him.   

• Spiritually: Hungering for Jesus. I need Jesus. I need Him today badly. Lord, I need strength.  
• Mentally: Today was okay. Feel clear minded in general, but also a little foggy. 
• Emotionally: I feel down today. I feel sad. I don’t know why. Warfare of the fast. Tough day. 
• Physically: Tougher day. Weak, fatigued, and don’t want to move much. Stomach still growling, not often but feeling it right now.

I did not sleep the best last night. Tossed and turned a lot and woke up to use the restroom and had a hard time falling back asleep. No dreams. The past 2 days have been extremely challenging lows. No energy to do anything. Standing too long is challenging. The days seemed long. I can’t focus or pray much. All I have the energy and passion to do is stay meditating and listen to worship music. I don’t have a desire to pray or read the Bible. I feel down today. This sucks. I don’t have a choice. I wish it was day 40 already. The great testimony I have is I went door knocking in my apartment complex for the first time in my life, and the neighbor next door, Terry, gave his life to Jesus. I’m excited to invite Him to church and see how the Lord uses me to disciple him. I want to grow in leadership, deliverance, and the fast is for God’s authority. I need Jesus. I need Him today. I need His grace and strength. I pray to get through this rough patch. 

• Spiritually: Feeling low. No desire to pray or read the Bible. Hard to pray. I can only listen to worship music and meditate. 
• Mentally: Not much going on other than time seems to drag. A lot of time to think. Not thinking about food. I don’t have a choice. In general, I feel clear minded, but a lot of boredom.
• Emotionally: Depressed. Sad. Down. Wishing I could eat and be around community. Wishing I could watch sports. It’s like being forced in a prison cell. No comfort. I can’t do anything to chance the situation. Tough day today. 
• Physically: I feel weak. I can’t stand long. I get dizzy quite often. I feel my body a little achy today and I feel cold most of the time now. My heat is on 73 degrees in my apartment and I’m wearing a hoodie and a beanie. I still feel a little cold. I can’t indulge in anything of the flesh. It’s dying to self. It sucks.

Today was a better day. I didn’t fall asleep until 2am and it was day-light savings time, so the clock moved up an hour. I woke up around 8am. The past couple of days were very challenging. This morning, I went to three different churches, I got a massage, and talked with Nick who is doing the fast with me. Then I watched my 2819 church in Atlanta and listened to another sermon. It was a filling day. I had a bowel movement. I noticed again, when I drink a lot of the alkaline water in the moment, more than I may need, it tends to flush out my system. Those down days, the body consumes the junk and I feel terrible. It’s weathering those storms because they pass. I pray God gives me more grace to feel great and this lasts throughout the fast. I don’t have a choice. I must push through, be obedient to Jesus to fast 40 days, and take it a day at a time.   

• Spiritually: Today my soul is hungering for Jesus. I listened to 4 sermons. I read and studied the word at church. I desire to spend time with Him. I’m praying in tongues throughout the day as the Holy Spirit prompts. I’m hungry. I’m reminded I’m in this fast because I want more of Jesus.
• Mentally: Better day. Clear minded and focused. More positive. 
• Emotionally: Starting to level off. Things of the world fade. I don’t care much about what people think or the things of the world. I am at peace. Better day. Content. 
• Physically: I am experiencing dizziness as I get up. My legs feel weak. My strength is low. I noticed some throbbing in my calves. My feet get cold. If I sit on the toilet more than 1-2 minutes, I feel tingling in my legs, and they go to sleep quickly. Blood flow to my feet is low. I weighed 219lbs. My stomach still growls and hungers. I started getting the skin breakout again. In the past I’ve learned it could be ketosis, but I’ve read more, and it could be the liver is dealing with a lot of toxins, so some has to be eliminated through the skin. At some point, it clears up because the liver doesn’t need to deal with toxins once the body cleans up later in the fast and the skin starts to clear out. This made sense because in my 30 day fast last year, this started to happen around day 22-23 where the skin breakout started to recede. Overall, though, I feel fine, and these are typical things of the fast.

In general, this was a better day. The Holy Spirit gave me strength to push through. I carried the cross in McKinney, Texas and 6 got born again. 4 inner healed and 2 delivered. It was a powerful day. 

• Spiritually: I saw the Lord move today in His strength and not mine. People were drawn to the cross and His presence was felt. 
• Mentally: Great day, feeling fine, and clear. 
• Emotionally: Content and peace. 
• Physically: I had another bowl movement. Strength, wise I felt weak in the morning, but Jesus gave me strength to carry the cross for over 8 miles and over 5 hours.

Today was a smooth day again. Sleep is getting less and more challenging to sleep. Not needing much rest but wishing I could sleep. I got to meet with Eric who gave his life to Jesus yesterday and have lunch with him even though I didn’t eat. It was cool to meet up with him and learn more about him and walk him through some basic bible stuff. This was the first time I’ve led someone to Jesus that I followed up with and took them out to eat and disciple. I’ve been praying for this, and the Lord has answered. Huge praise report and fruit of the fast. God is teaching me so much. This is a monumental step in my life. Besides this, I walked a little today and went to the bookstore and went home. I am a little tired at the end of the day here. Smooth day went by quick.  

• Spiritually: Sensing the Holy Spirit when in prayer. It’s interesting, I feel I hear his subtle prompting more and more, but don’t sense close to Him. It’s hard to explain. I feel at peace and the things of the world don’t matter. I’m continuously talking to Jesus and praying, but I haven’t spent time with Him in prayer and worship in the morning like I normally do. It’s more of a continuous prayer throughout the day and other forms of worship such as discipleship. I do need to dig into the Bible and read more. I am hungry to listen to sermons, I feel more fed this way. Overall, a lot of worship and prayer in the car as I drove a lot today, give or take 3 hours. I do need to set time apart and pray, worship, and read the Bible. 
• Mentally: Clear, more positive, and smooth. I do think of all the books I see at the store, and I’m hear trying to write one and I did have the enemy try to tell attack me with thoughts of “book failure.” Besides that, staying true and capturing thoughts. 
• Emotionally: Peace don’t want anything else other than Jesus. Nothing else matters. I did feel a little discouraged at the bookstore. Then the smell of food from the restaurant coming outside and knowing I can’t have any. In general, calm, steadiness, and letting the Holy Spirit lead. 
• Physically: I feel fine. Strength was weaker. I noticed the skin breakout faded which is interesting. I had about 2 small little dots and they faded today praise Jesus. At one point when I got out of the hammock, I got lightheaded, and my ears started to buzz. It went away.

Slept a little better. I fell asleep quicker than the past 3-4 days. I did wake up early and prayed a little in bed, but I need to get into prayer again. That’s been lacking. Today was another solid day. Interesting in general. I got dental work done. I had 6 fillings needed to be taken care of. I read a little. Took a nap. Then went out to the mall. I found a nice outside mall nearby where I’m going to go share the Gospel more often. I did a little shopping but shared the Gospel with 3 workers. I finished the day watching a sermon by Philip Anthony Mitchel on Romans 12:1-2. God spoke to me right at the end again: Deeper Sacrifice. The transforming, growing, and renewal of the mind is deeper sacrifice. I need to die more to self, give up more of myself than what I’m doing now. That’s my next step. I took all the DVDs of movies I had and threw them all away. At first, I thought about selling them, but I don’t want that garbage going back into someone’s hands. It’s all vanity and a waste of time. The enemy so easily distracts. God will provide. He sees my faithfulness. I need to saturate myself in the Bible. I may also possibly investigate having someone write my book for me. God is moving.

• Spiritually: I need to feed myself more. I need to dive in the Bible more. Learning connects me to God so much. 
• Mentally: I am doing great. Focused, sharp, and pushing through. 
• Emotionally: I feel this sense of urgency to share the Gospel. The need is growing. Slowly overcoming my emotions and being free of nerves, anxiousness, or whatever the world thinks. 
• Physically: I feel fine. The light headedness continues. I must be aware especially getting out of bed or the car, I get lightheaded. My skin is breaking out again under the left armpit. Besides that, I felt more energy today and had a thought about working out, but I decided it would be wise to rest and conserve energy. Weighing 217. Down 24lbs, but it’s starting to taper off now to a pound a day.

Slept decent last night. I had the Jon Gordon Webinar today and got some small nuggets to take away. Then I spent time with Jesus in prayer. I sat in His presence and listened to worship. I didn’t say much. It’s weird, I don’t sense close and it’s hard to pray. All I could do it sit and pray in tongues at times because I didn’t have words to say. I finished reading, “The Knowledge of Holy,” by A.W. Tozer. Today went by quick. Interesting day. Up and down. I felt overwhelmed at times with start the ministry, book writing, preaching, having the small group tomorrow, discipleship, and being in this season of transition. All I can do is bring it up to Jesus. 

• Spiritually: Hungry but hard to pray and read the Bible. What’s helping me is listening to sermons online and taking notes. 
• Mentally: Sharp and fine. It was a little hard to focus today.
• Emotionally: Up and down day. Feeling overwhelmed majority of the day. Spiritual attack. A little lonely. The steadiness and confidence is growing and things of the world or people are breaking off. 
• Physically: Weak at times and the lightheaded continues. Energy wise I feel fine. My stomach is still growling through the day about once or twice. The skin is breaking out more now. A little more on the left side and I see a little in the middle of the belly section. I weigh 215lbs.

It was a spiritual challenging day. I battled physical achiness and boredom. I did get a haircut and led the barber to Jesus! I felt it was the worst presentation of conversation I had, but Jesus reminds me when it’s in His strength, our “effort” or speech doesn’t matter. This was the highlight of the day. A plus, I am doing a lot more evangelism in my life and in this fast than ever before. I was talking to a lawyer about starting a ministry and was about to, but then I felt I was doing it in my own flesh and pressure because someone was willing to pay for the costs to start it. I ended up putting it on pause. I didn’t feel peace about it. I wanted to do it in my own flesh. After I put a pause on it, I felt peace. Thank you, Jesus. I had my second fellowship Friday meeting. It was unique. There was great time in prayer. We worshiped and prayed. I’m continuing to learn how to grow and lead the prayer sessions and impart what Jesus has shown me until now. I spent time listening to the Bible when I couldn’t sleep and watched another sermon by Todd White. His hunger for Jesus and purity is very inspiring and motivating. God is making it clear on what I need to start speaking to people about. The Gospel and repentance. Selling out for Jesus. 

• Spiritually: I am growing and learning. I am hungry for Jesus, and I want more of Him. He continues to teach me to be patient and wait on Him.
• Mentally: Challenging day. Trying not to think about boredom and things of the flesh. 
• Emotionally: Felt down a little, mundane, and a little anxious about caring the cross tomorrow. 
• Physically: I felt weak and irritated today. Lower back ached a little. Legs felt achy. Feet were cold. Had a hard time falling asleep.

I woke up today. I put on some worship music in the morning as I laid in bed. I felt weak and uncomfortable getting out of bed. I didn’t want to leave the house. I made it to Dallas and carried the cross at the St. Patrick’s Day parade. It was powerful. 8 people got saved, 2 rededicated their lives, 2 got partially delivered, and guy’s shoulder got healed. It poured raining at the end. I am learning and growing as a leader and communicating. A friend that joined me tends to budge in conversation or talk when I talk, and I told him from the beginning to sit back and watch and I’ll include him as the Holy Spirit leads. I am learning to be straightforward and lead well and not people please which saves me from being frustrated. After, I reached out to Eric to meet him and get him a hotel room, but when I arrived, he backed out. I ended up spending 2 hours on the road. It’s okay, I’m learning. I got a lot of contacts at the parade, and I want to meet with guys and follow up with them and continue to grow in this area. Jesus is giving me the reps. It’s a stretching and dying to self. I’m learning to plan to get coffee, connect, and disciple. Besides that, I spent some time reading the book, “Taught by the Spirit,” by Ron Auch. The Holy Spirit reminds me of the importance of prayer and the intimacy of that. I need to get back on that like I used to in the mornings where I woke up at least 2-3 hours before any meeting to simply sit in the presence of Jesus. Overall, powerful day. It went by quick. I pray I can sleep better tonight. I want to watch a sermon by Philip Anthony Mitchell and call it a night. I’m excited to hear his latest sermon tomorrow.

• Spiritually: I feel full and close to Jesus today. I hunger for Him more and more. Today was a full day of worship in many aspects. Starting to walk more and more in the Holy Spirit and be sensitive to Him. I sense my flesh more when it tends to rise. I’m getting more clarity/discernment on this.  
• Mentally: I feel sharper, clear, and more focused today. I’m reading way faster. This will only get sharper as the days go on which may help in me writing. I need to do that. I am trying not to think ahead or how many days are left. That’s a little tempting. No focus on food. Pushing through.  
• Emotionally: I feel steady at this point. Anxiety, control, attacks, or anything outside doesn’t affect me. I feel calm, controlled, and collected. I am walking in more freedom as the days go on. 
• Physically: I feel better today. I feel stronger even after carrying the cross for 4.83 miles. It was a full day, but I feel great. I need to walk more when I feel like garbage. I weigh 213lbs. The skin outbreak isn’t that bad. Some on the left side seemed to recede and there’s a little now on the right and in the top center of the abs.

I woke up today. I slept okay. I did not feel the best in the morning. I was weak, tired, and did not want to get out of bed. However, God is calling me to deeper sacrifice. Back to the days where He spoke to me in the Philippines, and I couldn’t get enough of spending time in His presence every morning to every night. I got on my knees today and kneeled there with worship. I didn’t say much other than be in His presence. At one point I couldn’t stay on my knees anymore and got in bed and laid in bed while listening to worship music before going to church. The mornings are the hardest because the body needs to replenish and needs water from not drinking for several hours. I forced myself to do some short, quick pushups and some high knees in place for about 20 seconds to get the blood flow. I felt a little better after. I went to churches, visited two churches. Finally, I came home and watched a couple of sermons, one from 2819 church and one by Billy Graham. I continue to saturate myself in sermons and Scripture. I’m hungry for Jesus. As I write now, I’m a little overwhelmed and anxious and will get into some prayer. I need Jesus. I need to go to Jesus. This world is falling, and I need to preach the truth in love. I need to preach the Gospel. I need to overcome fear of man, people pleasing, rejection, and speak the Truth. No more worrying or thinking about others. Lord Jesus, give me strength today and speak to me. I need you. I need you. Amen.

I slept better last night. I don’t remember falling asleep. The morning as okay. I did some quick pushups again and high knee run in place. It was hard to get out of bed. I worshipped laying down. I want and serve at outreach with church. Something I want to highlight as personal growth in my life is telling people about Jesus. In the past serve weeks at church, I would serve but didn’t pray for people or share the Gospel if it involved food or giving items away. Today, I served at the food pantry and everyone I helped to the car I offered prayer, and one person was born again, and another rededicated her life to Jesus. I prayed for at least 11 people. One lady was touched by the Holy Spirit as I prayed. She said, “How did you know I needed prayer?” Afterwards, I came home, rested a little. I started reading “Heaven” by Randy Alcorn. It’s a great book so far. It also encouraged me to write because he went through a tenacious process. Beside that, I also reached out to my discipleship list. I had a few interactions which was cool. I have a follow up with Oscar, a barber I met last year and he’s going to cut my hair tomorrow, so excited to share Jesus some more with him. He didn’t give his life to Jesus last time, so praying he will tomorrow. I’m continuing to stretch myself and grow in discipleship. Otherwise, slower day. It wasn’t bad, just long, and slow. I get fatigued real quick standing or walking too much. I can’t get up fast as I get lightheaded. It’s a battle. It sucks. All I can do is take it a day at a time. I have no idea how I’ll get through, but I must be obedient to Jesus. Praying He gives me the strength, grace, and speed of days to finish fast.

Smooth day. Slept better. I started to reach “Heaven” by Randy Alcorn. Great book so far on heaven. Powerful testimony today of God aligning all his plans. I followed up with a young man I connected with at a barber shop in Dallas last year. I was going to be in the Dallas area today and I asked him if he wanted to connect. I also needed to get my rear brakes changed on my car and the shop is also in Dallas, however, the parts didn’t come in. I checked and noticed they were supposed to be delivered today. I couldn’t wait because I had the appointment with Oscar, the barber. As I’m leaving, I got a notification the items arrived. I grabbed them, drove to the car shop, they had availability to fix them, and the barbershop ended being close by and took exactly the amount of time needed to talk to Oscar, get a haircut, and pick up the car. Oscar opened his heart, shared he was going through a rough patch. Last year he didn’t want to give his life to Jesus, but today, he surrendered, and I walked him through some inner healing and deliverance. “I feel at peace and lighter. I feel good. I don’t have anymore anger towards anyone.” I was able to connect with him and will plan to follow up next week and meet. Overall doing good. Spending time with Jesus, listened to the Bible in the morning and worshiped in bed. Feeling steady overall and pushing through. God’s timing is so perfect. I’m so encouraged by today.

I continue push through. I got some rest. I am committed to write and publish the book. I am doing this by faith. God is providing and trusting this is all for His glory. I want to get this message out there of fasting and walking people through it. Revival will start with fasting. I woke up and served at Mercy Culture church with Gateway. I was not feeling the best. I took things slow as I had to pick up boxes and shift food items around. I was going to go on outreach after, but I ended up coming home, laying on the couch for 20-30 minutes. I continue to do short, small prayers for the Holy Spirit to strengthen me. I felt better. I’m continuously staying hydrated. I’m drinking a lot of water at this point. At least 7 -10 liters. My weight has been steady since day 14 hovering around 213-215 which is interesting. I have not lost any weight. In the morning my body weight is about 210, but then I hydrate throughout the day, and I start to feel better. Jesus continues to do a work in my heart. Pride, cares of people, things of this world, and anxieties fade away. Demons are falling off. I feel steady emotionally. Mentally I’m clear, sharper, my decisions are better, and there’s little to no over thinking. Fear of man is breaking off more. Some of the skin breakout is fading. I feel great today. Thank you, Jesus.

Today was a little less challenging in the morning, but still a battle to get out of bed. I couldn’t sleep after I woke up around 5am. Listened to the Bible and then played some worship music. I volunteered to serve at Gatehouse ministry in the morning, then went to Tanger Outlet Mall and had 4 powerful conversations. 3 people got born again. One guy was working at Nike, and he grew up Catholic. He goes to UNT and was very thankful. He gave his life to Jesus while on the job at Nike. The other 2 guys were sitting outside the mall. Powerful day. Then I came home and started reading another fasting book called, “Fasting: Rediscovering the Ancient Pathways,” by Michael Dow. He hits on some good points of deeper fasts bringing things to the surface. I don’t know what it’ll look like but I’m going to continue to press in with prayer. Besides that, I reached out to some people for support raising. I have about 3 meetings scheduled. Today was an up and down day. Feeling discouraged by the lack of replies and responses to calling people for donations. Gods in control. Another day down. Lord help me.

Arrived in San Antonio, Texas around 10am. I woke up about 5am. Carried the cross with Coach Bo. It was a powerful day. The Holy Spirit gave me supernatural strength to carry and push through. 5 people born again; an older married couple got physically healed. Prayed for the husband’s knee and his pain went down. He said he felt tingling, so we prayed again, went more down, third time it was all gone. He started moving it and said he didn’t feel anything and said he wanted to run. Then prayed for the wife’s hip and she said the pain left her. Coach Bo was pumped being able to carry the cross. God gave him a dream he was carrying in San Antonio, and the Lord told me to carry there, and I didn’t know he lived there. It was great to have him come out and join. Then I spoke at the youth night at Bethany Romanian Church. It was powerful. The Holy Spirit told me to simply share my testimony, the Gospel, and urge the teens to come up to the alter if they weren’t saved. No one came up, then I challenged those willing to live all out and sacrifice their lives to come forth and one by one came. Leaders said that was the most they’ve seen go up in a while. It was a powerful night as I’ve never held an alter call and I prayed over each one and prophesied over them. God molded me and stretched me in speaking, the crowd was larger, the alter call, and laying hands and prophesying. Huge monumental first steps and steppingstones in my life. Powerful day. Thank you, Jesus. I will process more in my handwritten journal.

I did a training at church this morning with some of the youth that showed up. There were 8 people. It was awesome. This wasn’t the first time I’ve trained, but I have improved in the training from the anointing I’ve received over the past couple of years. Then I led a team out carrying the cross for the first time and empowered them to share the Gospel. 5 got born again, 2 rededications, 1 deliverance, and 3 inner healings. Then I hung out with an old friend. Took him to Ruth’s Steakhouse as a treat since I’m not eating and to honor him and serve him. It was a dying to self because I would spend that on myself and instead, I served him with something special and he joined in carrying the cross throughout the rest of the day. We saw a famous British comedian, Jimmy Carr, who I had no clue, and offered prayer but refused. He was respectful and thought what we were doing was a great thing. I gave him a Gospel tract and he walked away. Praying that seed gets planted, he needs Jesus. Another huge day in my life. So much fruit from this fast and hearing from the Holy Spirit for people and encouraging them. There was a moment where I did something different, and the 3 young ladies I encountered were believers, but I asked the Holy Spirit if there was anything He wanted to reveal about each one individually and then I shared the promptings and visions. At the end, two were very touched and crying. All of them said it resonated. One girl was very emotional and the other kept saying, “Wow. Wow. I needed that.” Ultimately, I encouraged them to grow closer to Jesus. The end of the day, the group that came out was very impacted and grateful. Such a powerful day and so much growth and answered prayer for growth in casting out demons, doing inner healing, and leadership.

I was up early. Despite carrying the cross the past two days, I felt great in general. I attended two churches. I went out after to finish the mission and carry the cross. I asked the Lord for 10 souls today and He brought exactly 10 people to hear the Gospel and get born again. This was the most people I’ve led to the Lord in one setting of carrying the cross and in one day. On top of this, it was the most people that God used me to lead to Him on a cross trip. 20 born again. 2 Rededications. 5 inner healing. 4 physically healed. 2 Deliverances. Carried a total of 13.04 miles. Today, I prayed for Alex. He said, “That’s (explicit) awesome. Carrying the cross.” I offered prayer. He said, “Yea, my ankle is broken, and the pain is terrible.” I prayed and asked him to check it out. “Dude, that’s weird.” He said the pain went down. I prayed again, and he had a puzzled look on his face and couldn’t believe what just happened. “What are you, some kind of healer?” I told him Jesus healed and that allowed me to share the Gospel with him. He tried to give his life to Jesus earlier in his life but said he never felt anything. He wanted a sign. I told him his foot getting healed was a sign. He didn’t give his life to Jesus, but he took the Bible and said he would read it and rethink everything after today. This is the power of the fast. God has shown me so much. All of this was him, but the fast amplified everything and allowed me to get out of the way and allow the Holy Spirit to move. Finally made it home and now I get to rest and push through the rest of this fast. So much revelation and growth on this trip all because of this fast and being willing to step out and let Jesus use me. Thank you, Jesus.

• Spiritually: I feel very close and sensitive to the Holy Spirit. Worship at church was powerful. It’s interesting as I ask the Holy Spirit things, I feel I’m hearing quickly and often. I sense the spirit and flesh strongly. 
• Mentally: Clear minded and sharp. I can focus easily. Today I did battle with more thoughts of food than any other day. 
• Emotionally: Stable, and can sense getting a little more edgy today, but from being tired after a full day and weekend and needing to get my rest. Anxieties, fear of man, rejections, breaking off and not affecting me. Emotions are stable in general. Still need more days to break through all of it. A lot of peace. 
• Physically: I am 207lbs. A huge dip since day 21. I was stable at 213-215 from days 12-22. I walked a lot the past 3 days with the cross, plus I do need a little more water in me now. Down 34lbs in 24 days. The skin breakout is weird. It’s gradual but some fades away. Normal spreading as it usually happens. Strength, wise I feel better, and energy wise the best I’ve felt the past three days throughout the fast. It’s so interesting as the more I’ve walked and been active, the better I felt. Even though I lost a lot of weight, I feel great and didn’t get as dizzy and didn’t feel like garbage in the morning.

Feeling great today. It was my Sabbath, so I rested and did some listening to the Bible and donor calls. I probably shouldn’t have done donor calls. I’ll have to honor the Sabbath better next time. This is another steppingstone in my life, adding and honoring the Sabbath. Not much else to add. Pushing through praise Jesus. One day at a time. I feel close to Jesus. I’m hungry. I want more of Him.

I didn’t sleep the best last night. I woke up a lot to pee. I didn’t have much energy today. I didn’t feel the best. It wasn’t terrible but it was definitely a rougher day. I did get a lot accomplished as I finally made my own Gospel tracts with the QR code. I’m excited about that. I ordered about 2,000 of them and they arrive in 10 days. I met with my counselor in the morning. I’m still asking God to dig deep into my heart to reveal the unhealthy roots. A constant reminder to go to Jesus in the pain. I am reminded things break off at His timing. Besides this, I met with Wade and caught up. It’s always good to hang out with him. Another huge testimony, a donor meeting I had yesterday, the guy reached out and gave a one-time gift of $6,000. That’s $500 a month for a year! Wow! And said will help as needed for other things. Several others I met with also said they would love to partner. And a donor already giving monthly gave his work bonus of $1,950 to me as well. God is opening the flood gates as I remain obedient. It’s all for His glory. He has told me I will never need to worry about finances and all my needs will be met. Even in my doubt, wanting to control, and unbelief, He constantly reminds and comes through. There are so many fruits coming from this fast. So many answered prayers and so much growth. He is aligning all His purposes.

• Spiritually: this journey has been great. I’m hungering more and more every day. I listened to the Bible this morning which I’ve done the past couple of days as I have a harder time wanting to pray. I did drive a lot today, so I played worship music and prayed in tongues because I didn’t really know what to pray for. I’ve made my requests to Him, and I feel like I have nothing to give other than myself, my heart, and intercede for the lost. My heart continues to grow for the lost. I also feel like counseling and meeting with Wade is ministry time and worship as well. He is also giving me the grace to rest and take it a day at a time. I don’t have to do much. 
• Mentally: I’m sharp. I have wrestled more with temptations and thoughts of food today than any other day. It creeps in. It’s the frustration that I can’t do anything about it. I don’t dwell on it but it’s all around me and pops up constantly. 
• Emotionally: Yesterday and today, I’ve been edgy. I’m more frustrated. I don’t want to deal with people. I don’t have the patience currently nor desire to understand and listen to people. I feel poured out. I don’t know if it’s coming back from the long cross trip in San Antonio and I’m still recharging.
• Physically: A little weaker today. Feeling okay overall. I was down to 207 a couple of days ago coming back from the trip and drank a lot of water yesterday. I got up to 213. Today I’m 209. Very weird fluctuations with weight. Drinking alkaline water helps. My routine is mostly consistent. Pushing through. When I feel like garbage, or weakness, I run in place for a little and do a few pushups to get the blood flowing and that helps. Walking and staying active definitely helps.

Another day down. I could not sleep until roughly 4:45am last night. I think it’s because I took a nap around 4-5pm during the day and wasn’t tired through the night. I slept about 3 hours. I didn’t take a nap today around that time even though I did feel tired. Today was a restful day. I didn’t feel the best through the night, but I felt better when I got out of the house. Waged war in prayer even though I don’t have much zeal to do so. It was good to be out and into church environment. Besides this, God is giving me grace to push through. My friend who joined me in the fast broke it today. I am now solo which it is what it is. I feel great in general today. I need to die more to my flesh and go deeper. I want more of Jesus. Less distractions and more of Him. Pushing through. Lord, give me strength.

Another day down. I slept a little better last night. I fell asleep around 1:15am last I recall and woke up a few times to pee and officially was up around 7:35am. The mornings continue to be a challenge as there’s a lot of weakness and dehydration from the night. I must take a couple of hours of drinking a lot of water in the morning every 20-30minutes to let the water get into the system. I prayed a little in bed and listened to the Bible and then read the Bible as well. It was good to dive into the Word. I’m learning about speaking opportunities and what it will look like once the book is published. I really don’t care about making money or speaking for money, but some of these people make $400-$90,000 speaking which is crazy. Tim Tebow makes an average $85k per speaking event. I’m excited to simply talk about fasting and get people on fire for Jesus. Besides this, I did a little work on the cross today as it’s getting cracked and chipped. I don’t know how much longer it will last. 

• Physically: I feel amazing right now. My body continues to get rid of junk. I also noticed the skin breakout has greatly reduced. It’s almost completely gone! There are still a few spots on the right side and a little in the middle, but it’s faded tremendously. This is the best it’s been ever and this late in the fast. I remember when I did the other 31 and 38 day fast, the skin breakout was real bad and itchy and I was using cream. I haven’t used anymore cream in the fastest since those times. Thank you, Jesus, for healing me. My current weight has gone up and I’m at 211 lbs. It’s been interestingly steady. I also did a little more movement today and that helps for sure. I need to continue to stay active. Nothing crazy but walk and stay moving. When I feel really weak or like garbage, I pump my legs and run in place for 20 seconds to get the blood flow. That helps a little. Great day in general.
• Mentally: My mind is sharp and focused. I do get a little lightheaded still but its only when I get up. My strength feels better right now. 
• Emotionally: My emotions are steady. 
• Spiritually: I feel spiritually close to Jesus. There’s a peace and supernatural grace. Only Jesus is allowing me to push through this. One day at a time.

Slept decent last night. Today in general was a great and exciting day. Overall, I don’t know how, but it’s all by the grace of Jesus I’m pushing through. I don’t know the amount of junk in my body, but today I had some more loose bowel movements. I noticed when I drink larger amounts of water then the system flushes out. I don’t know if it’s a good thing or not? I think the alkaline water plays a role. Otherwise, I feel the Lord speaking. All I’m doing is taking it a day at a time with everything. He is making things clear and aligning everything. I don’t know where I’m going to move next or what church I’ll be at, but the only way I’ll know is if Jesus provides a house. I can’t afford one. To me, that’ll be a clear sign. I sense He will let me now prior to the fast finishing, so we’ll see. Otherwise, a day at a time. Jesus, make these next 10 days go back fast and give me grace. Sustain me Holy Spirit, give me strength. In Jesus name, amen.

Didn’t sleep well last night. Had a long night. Woke up feeling really weak. Very long day. It was a battle in the morning all throughout the day. I listened to the Bible, prayed a little, laid in the hammock in the sun because it was a nice day out. I went on a walk to battle the fatigue. It has been an intense spiritual battle today. Feeling down. I don’t have a choice. Need God’s grace to push through. Overall, pushing through. I’m steady at weight, 208lbs. Drinking water is getting harder. Feeling nauseous today in the morning. Had some loose bowel movements. The skin seems to be faded mostly; some little rash dots appeared again but not much. Not that itchy. Going to try to sleep now. I didn’t take any long naps today with the intent to be able to sleep tonight. The day was long. Nothing I can do but push through the uncomfortableness. Lord, give me strength. Amen.

Not much sleep last night. I woke up, wasn’t sure if I was even going to church, but I found a couple of churches to attend nearby. After coming from one service, I had time, it was all the Lord’s timing, I saw Jude, a homeless guy. Brought him some snacks and invited him to the church I just visited because they had food. I was able to connect him with a guy who went there. Ultimately brought him some clothes and praying the guy helped Jude. After attending the second church I came home. A couple things I noticed from the churches I visited was having food outside in the hall before/during service. A church had taller tables in the sanctuary in the back which was cool. After worship, both churches had 5-minute meet and greet which was unique and cool. It was Easter Sunday so that may have played a role with the food. Today overall was a great day and spiritually fulfilling. Reminded of the spiritual hunger and desire for more intimacy with Jesus. I’m grateful and reminded the valley moments in the fast will pass. The ebbs and flows are normal. A reminder to wage more war in prayer. Listening to the Bible filled me up in the morning, going to church and worshiping, helping someone in need, and more prayer later in the day. 

• Spiritually I’m hungering. I want more of Jesus. More of His heart. More of His will. My flesh does want clarity on where I will move next, but I must be patient. He will make it clear. 
• Emotionally a high day with a lot of positivity. 
• Mentally I’m very clear, easy to think and absorb information and my memory is sharp. 
• Physically didn’t feel that weak today. I had a lot of energy going on the walk and felt great. This morning wasn’t all that rough either. It was also easier to drink water today. The grace of Jesus. All by His grace. He is carrying me through. Thank you, Jesus.

Not much sleep again. Not needing many hours in the night. I would up be listening to the Bible for a couple of hours and then had meetings and worked on the computer all day. I’m exhausted. I’m going to go on a walk and watch a sermon and then try to sleep. If not, listen to the Bible and pray. That’s all I can really do right now. I still battle unbelief. I don’t know what’s going to happen with finances. I have so many aspirations and plans, but I must trust in the Lord’s timing with everything. Day at a time. I don’t know if He may even call me into a deeper fast to go longer than 40. I don’t know. Jesus, give me strength. Amen.

• Physically: My body feels fine. It doesn’t feel like 32 days of fasting which is great. I weigh about 203-204 right now. Down 37-38 pounds in 32 days which is about right. My losing weight has leveled off over the past 2 weeks. There’s either a slight dip of 4-5 pounds and then a maintaining period. 
• Spiritually: I’m hungering for Jesus. I want Him more. I’m resting in Him. Battling warfare. 
• Mentally: not letting food come to mind. I know I don’t have a choice. I’m pushing through until the end. 
• Emotionally: it’s a rollercoaster. Yesterday I was great and happy throughout the day, today it’s been a great start and low finished. I’m happy to feel fine though.

Not much rest. Not much needed. Last night was a little challenging. 

• Spiritually I feel close to the Lord. 
• Physically I felt good the past 2 days. I’ve had loose bowel movements. The skin outbreak fades again and it’s not bad. 
• Emotionally I was edgy last night and this morning but felt better throughout the day. Mainly spending time listening to the Bible in the morning as my time with Jesus. Not much prayer time. 
• Mentally I’m sharp and clear. In general, I feel fine which I’m thankful. Only by the grace of Jesus and I getting through this. A little bit of walking. A little bit of lying down. Most of the day I was on the computer. I don’t feel depleted now. Overall, great day. Thank you, Jesus.

Didn’t sleep the best last night. Listened to worship music to try to fall asleep. It took me a while. I spent some great time in prayer in the morning from about 6am to 9am. Laying in the couch, praying, listening to worship music. Praying for others and myself. Making my requests known to God and simply wanting His will. There’s a supernatural grace in this fast. The morning was a little challenging. I drank a lot of water in the first 3 hours of the day. I think I got about 5-6 liters of water. Then I had some more donor meetings and scheduling. Jesus is providing divine appointments. I sold some weights and asked if the guy needed prayer. He did. He was on the phone with his brother who followed Jesus. Prayed for him. Shared the Gospel. Gave him a Bible. He needed to get his head right. Awesome moment. Besides that. 

• Emotionally better day. Feeling way more positive. 
• Mentally very clear. 
• Physically not weak. A little lightheaded but feeling great. 
• Spiritually, continuing to hunger for Jesus. I’m enjoying these sweet moments. The mana from heaven is truly feeding me. I don’t know what is going to happen, but I’m taking it a day at a time. Pushing through. The skin outbreak is going away and there’s barely any. I’m amazed. I went to Costco to buy some more water to have so I don’t run out to get all the way through the fast and not have to think about running out. Tons of fruits from this fast already. Meeting so many great people and having so many great conversations. No fear of man. Feeling open, peace, happy, boldness, and the Lord is healing my heart from depression and loneliness. Demons fall off. I am grateful. The power of the fast.

I had the worst night of sleep this night. I didn’t fall asleep until about 3-4am and woke up around 6am and that was it. The morning was a little rough. Exhausting day. I feel at peace emotionally. I prayed a little in the morning but that’s about it. Not much Bible reading or any reading. I had my book meeting today and that is going well. I’m real excited for it. All I really feel led to do is continue to rest in the presence of Jesus during this fast. I’m not pushing myself. I’m not straining. That’s been the wisest thing I’ve been doing. Taking it easy. Even when I’ve felt like I had energy, I rested. I think this has helped me long term. My tongue is still coated. I don’t feel hungry. I feel fine strength wise. I didn’t get as lightheaded yesterday, but today was a little more intense. I feel God’s grace. I don’t know what to say other than I’m thankful. I don’t deserve none of this. He’s such a good, loving Father. One day at a time. Lord, give me strength. Amen.

Fell asleep around 1:30am I think. Alarm went off at 4:30am. I went to the Dallas Christian Leadership Prayer Breakfast. I met some great people. I got to briefly meet Clayton Kershaw. I had meetings today. 3 got canceled or rescheduled. Overall, I feel great for this late in the fast. God’s grace is upon me. My worship time today mainly looked like listening to worship in the car and trying to pray laying down. I was tired throughout the day. Some of the canceled meetings were blessings as I used it for rest. 

• Spiritually I feel hungry for Jesus. I still feel there’s things that need to be broken off. It’s hard to explain. It’s out of my control. I’m trusting Jesus will touch and heal me at the end of this fast. 
• Emotionally, I felt a little edgy. 
• Mentally less focused today as I didn’t get much rest. I plan to go to bed right after this journal and get as much rest through the night. 
• Physically I’m 199lbs. First time below the 200lb mark in the fast. Down a total of 42lbs in 36 days. Not bad. Pretty stable. The skin/keto rash stuff isn’t bad. Very little compared to the past and seems to be fading again. My belly fat is almost all gone. There seems to be a lot of loser skin. I feel fine strength wise. I do get fatigue doing anything strenuous or requiring heavier lifting. The lightheadedness is still there. I still feel like my body is healing. My nose is still congested as it has normally been. Praying for healing in Jesus’ name. I need to spend more time in prayer and solitude in the Bible the final days of the fast here and rest. Jesus, give me grace and strength to finish these last days. Make them go quick. Amen.

Steady night. I think this is the most rest I’ve gotten through the night in a while. It wasn’t a thorough sleep through, but I rested a lot on and off. Woke up to use the restroom and drink water but laid and rested a lot. Then I got a massage. The masseuse and I ended up talking about fasting and he was born again. He opened about his struggle with pornography. He is married with 5 children. Jesus used me in unique ways today! It was awesome. Then I came home and got some more rest. I’m continuing to get a lot of rest as I feel really exhausted today. 

• Physically: In general, I feel great. The biggest hurdle is the lightheadedness, otherwise that’s about it. Experiencing a little dry mouth. I get dehydrated real fast. Now I feel I’m still going through a cleansing phase which is interesting. Still a little bit of keto rash but not much. My weight dropped about 3lbs which is big drop. I remember when I got to this point before, my weight dropped a lot over 2-3 days. Entering day 38. This ties the longest I’ve ever gone. Almost at the end, thank you, Jesus. 
• Spiritually: Grateful. I feel at peace. I feel like there’s still things breaking off. I don’t know if I’ll need to go longer. All I’m doing is trusting in Jesus. He is doing a work. He is healing me of fear of man, depression, loneliness, generational stuff, and anything that may still have some grip, or things I may not realize. There’s so much that’s been accomplished in the fast up until this point. So much growth. So many testimonies. 
• Emotionally steady and at peace. Not needing to strive and simply okay with resting with Him. 
• Mentally I still feel sharp. Probably don’t feel as sharp as in days 20-35ish. Still mentally clear but I am tired. I remember last time I threw up on day 38 which never happened before and I panicked and thought hunger returned and broke the fast. Whatever happens here, I know Jesus has given me grace to push through. He’s called me to do this fast. There’s no choice. All the way through. In the name of Jesus. Lord, give me grace and strength. Make these last days smooth and quick. Give me grace. Change my life forever. May I never be the same or live for myself ever again. Grant me Your authority. May every tribe, tongue, and nation hear the Gospel in my lifetime. Here I am Lord, send me! Amen!

I really don’t know what happened today but felt like spiritual warfare all day. Overall, to be this long in the fast and feel this good is amazing. I’m going to record the daily video, then lay down and rest for a little because I’ve been grinding all day in the office. I want to watch a sermon online from 2819 Church and spend some time with Jesus as I’m finishing off this fast. Tomorrow, I have quite a few meetings and driving to do. I don’t know what Jesus is going to do, but He’s aligning everything. He has truly given me grace to complete this fast. 48 hours to go. Lord, help me finish strong and seek You more and more. I need and want to hunger more for Him. Does deeper sacrifice look like going longer than 40? I don’t know. I don’t know what’s going to happen. Amen.

• Physically: Overall, my mouth has been getting dry. I’ve drank a ton of water consistently throughout the day and haven’t peed much which is a sign the body is still doing a lot of internal cleansing. Strength, wise I feel fine. My nose is still a little congested and there’s mucus that’s been clearing a little bit. I’m praying Jesus touches my nasal and get rid of anything and completely heals.
• Mentally: I don’t feel as mentally clear or sharp. 
• Emotionally: Edgy today and impatient. I think because of the complications with the ministry website and password problems. 
• Spiritually: I didn’t spend any time in worship or prayer or reading the Bible. I didn’t go to church because I thought it would be wise to conserve energy and now, I can’t be around people. I need to remain in the wilderness until the fast is complete. This is the longest I’ve ever officially gone in a fast.

Slept decent last night. Got some rest. These past couple of days have been unbelievable as far as how I’m feeling. I feel as if it’s the beginning of the fast. I don’t feel tired. I have a lot of energy. I didn’t get that lightheaded today. 

• Physically: My strength feels great. 
• Mentally clear and steady. 
• Emotionally it is a slight rollercoaster as I do get edgy when things do go as “I” plan them or want them and it simply reminds me I need to go to Jesus and trust He’s leading and planning. I’ve met so many people the past 2 weeks its astounding. The connections and follow ups. All this fruit from the fast I don’t even know what to say. 
• Spiritually: God is amazing. He’s guiding my steps. I’m having a new cross being made and it should be done by the first week of May. I plan to carry in Chicago for 5 days. The new cross in the place I was born. New start. Ministry is launch is in progress. I’ve been so encouraged. Need to build the Kingdom of Jesus.  God is putting people in my path and possible more open doors to teach and speak. It’s amazing. So much growth in leadership and vulnerability. Such an exciting journey. No failures with God. Beautiful, exciting learning journey surrounding me with awesome people. Thank you, Jesus. I will say even though I haven’t dived into the Bible the past 4-5 days, I did have some great prayer and quiet times at night while I lay in bed and can’t sleep. Resting in His presence. I do need to read more and study. I do need to get out of bed first thing and drop on my knees again. I do. I will. I don’t want to make excuses. The fast changes things, but I’m still mesmerized how I feel. Doesn’t feel like day 39. I’m even wondering if God wants me to continue more than 40. Is that what He meant by deeper sacrifice? I don’t know. This is officially the longest I’ve ever gone. I feel like I can go on another 10 days.

I did it. My first completed 40-day fast on Tuesday, April 9, 2024, at 8:32pm. Officially broke it at 11:23pm. My 11th journey of a fast of at least 14 days going all the way to 40. It took 11 journeys. I don’t know if anyone will ever read this, but I pray this encourages you. It took many trials and breakings. The Lord has done so much in this fasting journey and it’s only the beginning of things. I don’t know if any of these numbers or dates have any meaning. What’s interesting is yesterday was a solar eclipse. 

• Mentally, Emotionally, and Physically: All I can say is right now I feel completely fine and could continue to push through. I could go on, but I am content. The Lord called me into this 40-day fast and gave me the grace all the way through. At times I didn’t know what to expect, other than to continue to push through. I am reminded today to trust in His timing. I don’t have to force things in my own flesh. 
• Spiritually, I’ve learned to rest in Jesus. He gave me a lot of rest in this fast. He gave me a lot of peace in this fast. There were many sweet moments. I didn’t need to strive. When I was tired, I rested and prayed, and that was good enough for Him. I’m reminded of not needing to perform or having the pressure to perform or people please. I can be myself. I’m uniquely and wonderfully made. Jesus is satisfied in me. I can talk about my struggles. I’m reminded to be open with my wrestling’s inside. The insecurities and internal struggles of performance, feeling inferior, comparison. Talk about these struggles with people and community. Be open and vulnerable because if I isolate and keep it inside, it’s no different than the wrestling with the past of porn and the stronghold that had. There’s freedom in bringing it to light. I will continue to connect with people all over. I’m going to continue to ask for help and mentorship. I’m going to continue to see and ask God for a house. I know my time in Dallas is done. This journey is finished. This fasting journey is finished. The breaking continues. Another new 40-day journey challenge. I know the Lord’s called me to honor Him with my body this year in continuing to eat healthy and will do so. Fruits and vegetables. That is a continued fast I’ve started since the beginning of the year. (The longest I’ve done something similar, not for fasting purposes but the vegan diet was in June 2019 until about the end of the year around February 2020 until the Philippines). This is for spiritual purposes and all for Jesus. All for the authority of Jesus in my life. Not to do anything under my power, will, or authority. I need His authority. In conclusion, it has been an amazing journey. A lot of fruits and I’ll go back and reflect on all of it in my personal hand-written journal and update my prayer journal. I was obedient to the call. He gave me so much grace.